I really dont know...

I don't know why but I just don't feel good now.

I just feel that I am torn between two sides of myself. Its an awkward position.

It's like I am not here nor there and I think most likely I am always the one who always misjudge and miscalculate and hence got so mixed up.

It;s like things can be so simple yet I always make them so complicated. I always read between the words and actions and I always think alot.

That of which I spent pretty much time brooding over. And I wished I have all my questions answered. There are a lot of question marks in my head which I am tryng to solve but then its not within my means.

Okay just call me complicated. I tend to complicate things.

Okay maybe it;s just me and I am thinking too much. But I hate the way I am feelign now.

Seriously. And sometimes I ask myself..what is the point?

I wish you can ask me to wake up now. My brother agony should just scold me now. And my pals should give me a thrashing. And I should kick myself hard and bang my head against the wall and asked myself "eh what you doing? be yourself. wake up leh. still sleeping now? so many things waiting for you to do yet u always think of those unnecessary stuff."

I wish I wish...life could be easier. I wish things could be less complicated. Oh well. Things will not change tomorrow I know for sure. It may just resume back to normal. I am the one who should change. Change my mindset and really...change for the better. I hate this feeling which I have been having lately. I kinda feel a little being used. I dont know. I wish you could tell me the answer instead of me finding it out.

I wish and I really wish..

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! GASP!

Its the end of the one week break I just realised...so much for slacking it away. I just came back from supper and I had to blog this cause well...I just have this feelign. I am so tired but I cannot sleep cause of this. I have to complete my work. But I dont know how. I feel so helpless. Give me a break. I am stressed cause I didnt do my work and I am stressed cause of this external factor which came quite unexpectedly and I think since its external, it shouldnt be given so much attention. But it kept haunting me day and night. Thanks to the stressor. I hate this feeling. I wish you can tell me what to do and how and why. Ok I think I have some advice which I probably dont have the guts to execute.

What a lousy girl and such a lousy feeling..

I hope tomorrow will be better. I want to have a good sleep tonight and do my own stuff tomorrow. I think I will be a gonna if this persists. Maybe not. I have better wake up and do more self-reflection.

To this feeling -> get off me now will you? stop it la, dont play anymore.
To the stressor->hey you, I dont know what to say. maybe you should just well...I dont know.