Random thoughts

Everyday I think of MJ, every night I dream of Woodstock..Oh how time flies...

I was amazed and in fact overjoyed by the 180 degrees turn that my mood took this morning. I have a very big hunch that it was because of my 10 hours of sleep. I think this is beginning to look like I love to brag about how long I've slept and how ppl should envy me. But actually, the 10 hours of sleep I had was to replenish the crazy sleeping patterns that I have adopted lately. And hence the 10 hrs of sleep was supposed to correct that habit. And anyway enough of sleep, even though I just got up from a nap. It was yet another recollection of memories. And another phase of consolidation of thoughts. And also a tiny bout of emotional upheaval which was put under control in a speed comparable to that of a 100 metres race.

These days I seemed to enjoy the company of myself for I think alot when I am alone and I love doing that. It seemed like true freedom and I don't mean freedom in the case of the absence of all restrictions. More of unshakable conviction in the face of any obstacle. It seemed as though I was the knight, saving myself...how do I explain this...Guess my notion of a courageous knight riding a white horse with a sword and armour in his arms ought to be kept in history, locked in my memories and abandoned. Many people asked if I am in search of a better half to enrich my monotonous life and seek fufilment in life. This thought has not really crossed my mind these days. It definitely did when I was younger and many would have remembered those days when I was so crazy over some swimmers then. I do happen to meet some people whom I think would make a better companion with their characters and behaviours through my observations (but then again, I now doubt my own judgements). Some who can really catch me off guard and who nearly made my heart skipped a beat when I see them. (since I said nearly, maybe sometimes, it actually did happen. Alright I confess.) But then again, I was just playing with my mind. How on earth can sparks fly if nothing could be done to ignite them? I was playing with my mind and drowning in my own fantasy world. Hahaha. Then again, I am totally unprepared for this sort of lovey dovey stuff of late. More often than not, I am guarding against all evil and clinging tightly and strongly to the lock attached around my fragile red organ. So if anyone were to ask me the same question yet again, I guess I haven't found a new answer to that. In fact I do not have any answer. For all in all, it hasnt been in my priorities lately. Last time, it could be in my wish list, now when I think of the list of to-dos and my wish list...I couldnt find any "to find a companion" Hmm and strange enough, I thought there isn't anything wrong with that until once again, people start to remind me about it. So is it time to reconsider? Hmm.. When it comes, it comes. If it doesnt and hasnt been lined up in my fate, I will take it with me in stride. For now, though sometimes life can be so stressful and stressful and even sleep can be a luxury, I still love the inner peace that I could find in myself at times. I cannot describe how is this really like but I know though it can be monotonous, it definitely beats having emotional struggles daily and having worries of every sort everyday.

And for now, I would like to retire in my own thoughts and carry on with my monotonous life. Actually sometimes it isnt really monotonous, more of routined, but definitely well-spent with close friends and family and I really treasure that. That vee day is coming and I am definitely looking forward to it..oh, dont be mistaken, not for myself, but for some friends out there whom I know will be bringing good news in time to come. Cheers!